Rock Bottom
by Otter-Love-ASL
Summary: Jay's in a dark place but does anyone notice before it's too late. Can he survive with the help of his brother and team? Getting Jay the help he needs may prove to be challenging when in denial. Warning: Sensitive/triggering topics. ***ON HIATUS AS OF MARCH 28 2020*** ***WILL BE FINISHED*** ***SEE AUTHOR'S NOTE IN LAST CHAPTER***
1. Chapter 1: A Tortured Soul

After a rough day working on a case that involves children, Jay Halstead stares at the blood dripping down his arm into his bathroom sink. The numb feeling leaving as he watches the blood leave his body. Watching as the water changes from red to pink, Jay is trapped in his tortured mind.

Jay is brought to when couldn't save his fellow soldiers after the Humvee accident.

"_Three more weeks and we're back stateside," Rick Hillman states._

"_Yeah, can't wait to get back to my girl," Aaron Carr states._

"_You're whipped, man," a third voice calls._

_Before anyone can reply the Humvee hits something just before flying through the air. Jay feels himself being thrown before blacking out._

_When Jay wakes up, Mouse is above him talking, but he can't hear him. Realizing what happened, Jay attempts to sit up to look for his unit._

"_Jay, they're gone," Mouse tells him._

"_No, they can't be," Jay denies trying to get up to search, ignoring his own injuries._

The scene changes to inside a hospital room three months later, watching his mother die.

"_Mom? Please don't leave me," Jay begs sitting in the uncomfortable chair at the head of the bed, holding her hand._

_Weak as she is, Maeve Halstead takes her free hand and cups his face, "My sweet boy, I will always be with you."_

"_I still need you," Jay cries._

"_There is so much that I will miss so much in your life and I'm sorry, but I know you will handle it like the kind, caring man I know I raised you to be. I am _so _proud of you."_

"_But Dad-"_

"_Don't you listen to your father- I want you to follow your dreams."_

"_Why aren't they here?"_

"_Don't be mad at your father and brother."_

"_But-"_

"_No 'buts'. It isn't you to be and stay mad at people, family."_

"_Mom, what am I going to do without you?"_

"_You are going to be okay. Baby, you were my miracle, my survivor. I love you so much, my Jaybird."_

"_I love you too Mom."_

As the alarm goes off that Maeve Halstead flatlines, the scene changes again- this time to the war at home. Multiple images of different children he couldn't help, dead from gang violence, trafficking, and monsters in the street.

Jay snaps out of his thoughts and looks down at his arm. The water is now clear, the bleeding has stopped, leaving a fresh new cut to add to his collection. Jay stares at the cuts on his arm, each one for every time he couldn't save someone and for the times he's hurt people.

With the numb feeling still in his chest, Jay sends a text to Hailey before opening the cabinet.

* * *

"Hey, Hailey where are you going?" Adam asks Hailey is she is leaving his apartment.

"I'm going to check on Jay," she answers.

"What? We had the whole night planned," Adam complains.

"I got this weird text from him and now he's not answering- something doesn't feel right," Hailey tells Adam thinking about the text she got minutes before.

"Do you want me to go with you?" Adam asks.

"No, I'll call Will on my way."

"Will's not a cop."

"Will's his brother," Hailey answers. "You know Jay, he's not exactly an open person." Hailey leaves before Adam can respond.

* * *

"Have you heard from Jay?" Hailey asks Will when she is able to reach him halfway to Jay's place.

"No. Why? Is everything okay?" Will asks worriedly.

"Just the case. It's a rough one for him and he's blocking me out," Hailey tells him, omitting the text she got when she heard a commotion in the background on Will's end.

"Okay, I need to go, but I'll check in with Jay after my shift," Will tells her before hanging up.

Hailey throws her phone to the passenger seat after unable to reach Jay again.

After what feels like forever, Hailey makes it to Jay's apartment complex. Throwing her car into park, Hailey jumps out and runs up the stairs to Jay's apartment.

Hailey bangs on his door, hoping that he answers, "Jay open up!" When no one answers Hailey uses the key that Jay gave her for emergencies and drawls her gun.

Looking around, Hailey doesn't find anything out of place. Clearing each room, with still no sign of her partner, Hailey's chest grows tighter.

Opening the door to clear the bathroom, she finds Jay passed out on the floor. Putting her gun away, she reaches down to check for injuries. Finding none, she does a sternum rub trying to rouse him. When that doesn't work she feels for a pulse in his neck finding a weak one.

When Hailey finally looks up, she sees the empty pill bottles. The cop in her takes over and calls for an ambulance.

After what feels like forever, the faces of the two familiar paramedics of Firehouse 51 show up. While hooking Jay up to an IV and oxygen mask, they gather the little information that Hailey has on what happened. They quickly load Jay into the ambulance, calling ahead to Med.

* * *

Arriving at Med, Will is shocked to see his brother being wheeled in with Hailey following the gurney as close as she can before she is stopped as Jay is taken into a treatment room.

Ethan rushes in to take care of Jay while Connor has to use all of his strength to stop Will from charging into the room. Hearing the words, 'overdose' and 'possible suicide attempt' stun Will to his core. Asking himself how he hasn't noticed, or how could that be his brother.

"What happened?" he asks Hailey, hoping for an answer.

"I don't know," Hailey tells him. "I got a weird text from him and then he wasn't answering me back so I went to his place. Nothing was out of the ordinary… until I reached his bathroom. He was laying on the floor unconscious with a bunch of empty pill bottles. I called for an ambulance and they brought him here. Will you have to believe me: I had no idea Jay was in this bad a place. I mean I know he was taking the case hard, he always does when it involves kids, but I never thought he would do something like this. I wouldn't have left him alone if I did," Hailey continues, still shocked by finding her partner.

"I know. You're a good partner. Thank you for checking on him when you did," Will thanks while trying to absorb what she just told him.

Looking into the treatment room that has her partner, Hailey asks, "Is he going to be okay?"

"He's a fighter and a survivor, he has been his whole life," Will answers.

"But what if he doesn't want to anymore?" Hailey asks the question that neither wants to address.

They both remain silent, both scared and worried, both praying Jay will be okay and vouching to never let him out of their sight again.


	2. Chapter 2: How Did We Miss This?

Will and Hailey worriedly wait outside the treatment room where Jay is being worked on. Both trying to understand what had happened for Jay to take such actions.

They are interrupted from their thoughts when Ethan comes out of the treatment room, "How is he?" Will asks, nervousness strong in his voice.

"We pumped his stomach. It looks like some of the pills had already reached his bloodstream, so we're going to send him to the ICU until we're sure it's left his system. I'm sorry Will, but he's going to be admitted to the psych ward once we know the pills are out of his system, he's going to be on suicide watch," Ethan tells the two of them.

"Do what you have to. I can't lose my brother too."

"Is he going to be okay?" Hailey asks, "I mean is there going to be long term damage?"

"We won't know until he wakes up. It would help if we know what he took," Ethan informs her.

"I don't know. I just… when I saw the empty bottles and him unresponsive, my only focus was getting him help."

"You did good. What made you go over to his place?" Ethan inquires.

"I got a weird text from him. I tried texting him back and calling, but he wouldn't answer either. Why?"

"Another fifteen, twenty minutes… we would have been having a different conversation."

"I didn't see his message right away. I was with Ruzek, I think I saw it after fifteen minutes. Would it have made a difference if I saw it right away?" Hailey asks, stomach in knots waiting for his answer.

"You got to him in time. Just focus on that," Ethan answers evasively. "He'll be moved shortly. ICU is strict about visitors, family only, but I can make an exception for you Hailey- as long as Will is okay with it," he tells Hailey at the same time letting Will know it is up to him.

"Yeah, she's practically family."

"Before you see him," Ethan adds. "Are either of you aware that Jay has been practicing self-harm?"

This is shocking news to both of them, "No," they say within seconds of each other.

"He has several dozen marks on his wrists and forearms. Looks like self-inflicted cuts, some are very fresh and others are completely healed, just scars."

* * *

"What did his text say?" Will asks as they sit in Jay's ICU room, the steady sound of the monitors connected to the brunet in the bed calming the too watching over him.

"It said, 'I'm sorry.' It was weird because we haven't argued since the high-rise fire and Jay going rouge," Hailey tells the older brother. "I tried to get in touch with Jay, but I couldn't get ahold of him. Something just felt off."

Before Will has a chance to say anything, the monitors pick up indicating that Jay is rousing from his sleeping state. Jay groans before leaning over the side of the bed and puking on the floor, once finished he falls back to sleep.

"Is that normal?" Hailey asks.

"It can be, it depends on how much of the drugs got into his system," Will answers while hitting the call button to let someone know there was an accident.

"What can I do for him?" Hailey asks feeling helpless.

"Be there," Will tells her while looking at his brother. "He's probably going to try to push you away- don't let him."

"Can this affect his job? Jay loves being a cop," Hailey asks.

"Let's focus on getting him healthy before we worry about that."

"When will he wake up?" Hailey asks while looking at her sleeping partner.

"Could be tonight, could be tomorrow morning. It's up to his body."

Hailey lets his answer sink in before going to the side of Jay's bed and taking his hand in one of her's and running her other hand through his hair, "Will and I are here, and we're not going anywhere," she whispers looking at his exposed arms.

The silence in the room is heavy, both knowing how close they came to losing Jay. Having no knowledge of this world, Hailey asks, "So what happens now?"

"Right now, he's a danger to himself, so he's on a psych-hold for suicide watch. There's going to be a psych consult and we need to determine why he tried to…" Will swallows. "After that, a plan needs to be made about what happens. Probably force him into therapy. He might be put on medication if needed for an underlying cause."

"Do you think he really wanted to do what he did?" Hailey asks.

"Hailey he took a bunch of pills, he's been hurting himself."

"But he texted me- he knew I would check on him. If he really wanted to… he has access to a gun. That would have been guaranteed," Hailey tries to understand what happened.

"How are you?" Will asks suddenly. "I never asked, but finding him couldn't have been easy."

"I'm a detective in Chicago. I've seen worse."

"But it was never to someone you care about."

"I'm okay. I'm just glad I found him in time."

"I know you're like Jay and don't like to talk about how you feel, but it's okay to not be okay after what you went through."

"I'm not the one who almost died."

"You found your friend overdosing on a possible attempted suicide, that's traumatic for anyone- even Chicago cops."

"I'm just worried about Jay," Hailey whispers.

* * *

Hailey and Will spend the night in Jay's room, sleeping in the uncomfortable chairs next to his bed.

Around three in the morning, Hailey wakes up to whimpering coming from the sleeping body in the bed. "Sshhh, Jay. I'm here, so is Will. We're right here," Hailey promises, getting him to fall back into an unsettled sleep.

Once Jay is back in oblivion, Hailey is lost in her thoughts, wondering how she missed the signs. Was she too busy with Adam to notice her partner slowly come undone? Was it his PTSD that was overwhelming him? She watches his chest move up and down as he breathes, afraid that if she looks away he's going to slip away. Hailey eventually falls back to sleep watching him, promising herself and the Halstead brother that she's going to help Jay through this.


	3. Chapter 3: Why?

The next morning, Jay wakes up to the sound of the monitors beeping. Jay opens his eyes to be blinded by the florescent lights on the ceiling. Looking from side to side, he sees both his brother and Hailey.

Jay groans, catching the attention of his brother. "Jay? Are you with me?"

"Yeah," he sighs.

"How are you feeling?"

Jay takes a minute to process how his body feels, "My throat hurts and my stomach."

"Okay. That's normal, they had to put a tube down your throat when they pumped your stomach," Will pauses before he speaks again. "Jay, what happened?" Will asked softly.

"It doesn't matter," Jay whispers.

"Do you want to talk with Hailey instead?" Will asks.

"No. I don't want to talk. When can I go home?"

"It's up in the air right now. You're on suicide watch; we can have a better timeline after psych talks to you."

"I just said that I don't want to talk."

"You have too. I know you don't want to, but you don't have a choice. So you can either talk to me, I'm sure Hailey wouldn't mind listening, or you can talk to someone from psych."

Jay looks down, "I can't," Jay tells his older brother.

"Why can't you?" Will questions softly.

"Because- because you'll finally see how fucked up I am. And you'll realize you should have let me…" Jay trails off.

"That I should have let you die?" Will asks, voice breaking halfway through. Jay slowly nods his head. "Jay," Will whispers pulling his baby brother into a hug, finally realizing how badly his brother has been hurting. "Nothing you can say will make me think that. You know I love you, right?"

Jay hesitates before nodding; logically knowing that his brother loves him, but a nagging voice in the back of his head tells him that he is alone and too messed up to be loved.

"Do you want to talk with me or someone else?"

"You won't leave?"

"I promise I won't leave. Not again," Will vouches.

Jay looks over to Hailey, "She's been here all night," Will tells him.

"Why?"

"She cares about you. She's the one who found you. Jay, you had both of us so worried."

"She should go to work."

"She has time." Will gets up and walks over to Hailey, gently shaking the sleeping detective awake. "He's awake."

Hailey shoots up hearing this, "Jay, how are you feeling? I was so worried."

"I'm sorry. I'm okay."

"Hey, don't be. I'm just glad you're alive. Jay," she sighs, "whatever it takes to get you through this. Will and I are going to be here for you. Do you understand?" Jay nods slowly.

"Hailey," Will interrupts. "The nurse needs to know he's awake. Can you let her know, but give us twenty to thirty minutes before you do? Jay and I need to talk."

"No problem. I'll go to the cafeteria and grab some breakfast. What do you guys want? Can he have food?" Hailey asks.

"Anything for me and a coffee. Jay, you can either have oatmeal or scrambled eggs. And you need to eat something, so nothing isn't an option."

"Eggs?" Jay answers though it sounds more like a question.

"What about a drink?"

"See if they have almond milk. If not, you can't go wrong with water," Will tells her.

"Why can't I have coffee and you need to be at work," Jay asks Will before turning his attention to Hailey.

"You need to go easy on your stomach for a couple of days," Will answers.

"Don't worry about me being at work, just focus on you," Hailey tells him before leaving the room.

* * *

In the cafeteria, Hailey grabs herself a blueberry muffin and a bowl of fruit along with a black coffee before making her way to a small table. Looking at her watch, Hailey decides to bite the bullet and call Voight to let him know that both of his detectives will not be in.

He picks up on the third ring, "What is it Upton?" his gruff voice comes over the line.

"Jay's not going to be in today- actually he won't be in for a while. He's at Med and I was hoping to stay with him- at least for today."

"What happened?"

"I don't want to break his trust- but right now, he's a danger to himself," Hailey tells their boss, hoping he understands the message.

"Do what you need to," Voight tells her before hanging up.

Hailey puts down her phone and slowly eats her food, trying to see how she missed her best friend being in so much pain.

* * *

Once Hailey leaves Will turns to Jay, "We have some time before a nurse comes in to check on you. Talk to me, Jay. What's going on in that head of yours?" Will questions softly.

Jay looks down at his hands playing with the thin sheet that is covering him. "Why am I here?"

"You're here because you are a good person, you're a great cop. You have a big heart, you're kind and caring- just how mom raised you to be," Will tells him.

"A lot of good guys died in Afghanistan, they had wives, kids- families to come back to. I didn't, it should have been me. What kind of son am I? I wasn't here when mom was sick. I've put Hailey in danger because of my PTSD. There are so many people that I've either killed or couldn't help."

Will's heart sinks when he hears what his brother thinks of himself, he moves from the chair to sitting next to his brother. "Jay- you wouldn't have deserved to die in Afghanistan anymore than your unit. And you were a great son, mom was so proud of you. If she saw you so… tormented, it would kill her." Will pulls Jay into his side. "And I know Hailey trust you- PTSD or not. And for the people you couldn't, you can't save everyone."

Jay rests his head on Will's shoulder, "I'm sorry."

"When did you start cutting?" Will asks afraid of the answer, but at the same time needing to know.

"I don't know. Sometime after I was discharged," Jay answers trying to cover the marks on his arms.

"Why?"

"Because I need to feel something. And I needed to punish myself."

Before Will can reply, Hailey comes back in with their food, "Here. A nurse should be here in a couple of minutes." Hailey notices him trying to hide his arms. "Will can he change?" Hailey asks.

"Yeah. No strings or anything he can use to hurt himself. Why?"

"He is right here."

"Jay do you want me to go to your place and get you something to change into. Maybe a long sleeve shirt and some pajama pants? You look uncomfortable."

"Don't you have to go to work?"

"I called out today."

"Why, the team is down two people now."

"Don't worry about that. Just focus on you."

"You and Will should be at work, not with me."

"Hey, we're here because we want to be," Hailey is interrupted by a nurse and someone from psych coming in. "I'm going to swing by your place and grab you a change of clothes. Do you want anything else?"

"Wait until we see what the plan is," Will tells her, "He might not be able to have some things."

"Okay, I'll be back soon," Hailey tells Jay, patting his shoulder before leaving the room.


	4. Chapter 4: Attempted Assessment

A few minutes after Hailey leaves Dr. Charles comes in, "Hello detective. I was hoping we could talk."

Jay looks to Will, "You said I had a choice," he whispers.

"You need to be evaluated by a psychologist; even if I was one, it would be an ethics violation to work with family."

"Please, Will. I won't do it again," Jay begs.

"Jay, I just want to do what's best for you."

"That would be letting me leave."

"We can't do that detective," Dr. Charles interrupts.

"What if I stay with you?" Will asks willing to try anything to get his brother to talk with someone.

"Dr. Halstead, you know that-"

"I will be an observer only," Will cuts him off.

"You know that's against protocol."

"Will?" Jay questions pulling his brother's attention away from the other doctor in the room.

"Do you want me to stay?" Will asks his brother. Jay nods, looking like a scared child. "That settles it, I'm staying," He tells Dr. Charles.

"Fine, but one peep and I kick you out."

"Fine."

Dr. Charles turns his attention to Jay, "Detective, why don't you tell me what was going through your mind right before you took the pills."

"The kids," Jay whispers. "I couldn't do anything."

"What kids?"

"They were dead."

"What happened to them?" Dr. Charles pushes. Will gets ready in case he needs to intervene for his brother.

"I couldn't save them. Any of them. My guys, the Humvee. Mom."

"That's enough," Will declares.

"You need to leave," Dr. Charles orders.

"No!" Jay yells.

"Hey, I'm not going anywhere," Will assures him before turning to Dr. Charles. "Come back later. He's out of the crisis period anyway."

"He needs to be assessed."

"He can be later," Will announces in a tone that states end of discussion.

Dr. Charles leaves after a staredown with the protective older brother.

* * *

The room is silent for a while before Will speaks, "Is this why you hurt yourself? Because you feel guilty?"

"I don't deserve to be."

"Why do you think that?"

"Just because."

"That's not an answer."

"I've hurt so many people."

"And you've saved so many more."

"All that I've done, no one would miss me."

"That's not true Jay. I would, Hailey would, your team. A lot of people care about you.," Will pauses letting that sink in for Jay. "Jay, you were mom's miracle baby. What would this do to her if she were still here?"

"She's not."

"You know I love you, right?"

"I know. I don't want to talk anymore."

"Okay, for now. We can talk more later. Do you want anything?"

"Stay?" Jay asks.

"You want me to stay with you?" Jay nods. "Good because I wasn't leaving even if you wanted me to."

Jay manages to fall into a light sleep, exhausted from the emotional talk.

* * *

While Jay is sleeping, Dr. Charles comes back. Before he can say anything Will shakes his head, "He's sleeping. Come back later."

"I really need to get an assessment on him. He's suicidal and possibly depressed."

"Nothing's going to happen to him between now and when you can assess him."

"He's a detective, he probably knows ways."

"I'm not leaving him alone. If I'm not with him, Hailey will be."

"He shouldn't be exposed to too much stimuli, we should limit his contact to family only."

"Hailey is his family. The rest of intelligence is too, but they don't know yet. And I don't want them to overwhelm him, but he's responding well to Hailey."

"Fine, but page me as soon as he's up."

Once Jay is sure that Dr. Charles is gone he opens his eyes, "Please don't page him."

"Did I wake you?"

"No, I could just tell there was someone else here. It wasn't you or Hailey."

"How could you tell?"

"I just could, it didn't feel safe."

"He just wants to help you, but I won't page him for now," Will tells Jay before he realizes what he said. "You feel safe with Hailey and me?" Jay just looks at him like he just asked the most absurd question there was.

"Jay, what do you want? How can Hailey and I help?"

Jay is silent before asking, "What happens now?"

"What do you mean?"

"When can I go home?"

"You're on suicide watch. After you're out of ICU, you're going to be transferred to the psych ward for a couple of days. Another assessment will be done and then we can decide what happens next."

"I'm not crazy!"

"No one said you were. We're just afraid you're going to hurt yourself- or worse."

"Don't let them. I promise I'll be good," Jay begs.

Hailey chooses this moment to walk into his room, "Jay, this isn't about whether or not you're crazy, which you're not, but it's about keeping you alive."

"I'm sorry, I'll stop cutting- just don't send me away."

"Who said anything about sending you away?" Will asks.

"_Decides what happens next_," Jay quotes his brother.

"I just meant we figure out our course of action."

"Jay," Hailey pulls his attention, "We want you to get better. We will be there every step of the way."

"I'm sorry," Jay whispers.

Will pulls him into his embrace while Hailey places a supportive hand on his back. "It's going to be okay. You're going to be okay," she whispers to him while trying to convince herself at the same time.

* * *

**A/N: I'm not one who asks for reviews, but please let me know what you think and what you want to happen. I have no idea where I'm taking this story so suggestions are welcomed and updates may be sporadic.**


	5. Chapter 5: What Will Happen?

After a while, Hailey looks to her partner, "Jay, I know you don't want to, but you need to talk to Voight."

"No. I can't- my job," Jay tells her, mind scattered.

"Right now, I think you need to talk with Voight," Will sides with Hailey. "He's going to find out eventually and it would be best coming from you."

Jay just looks between Hailey and Will, looking like someone kicked his puppy. "But what if I can't be a cop anymore?" Jay whispers. "I don't know anything else."

"We take it one step at a time," Will tells him. "It doesn't matter what happens next, Hailey and I will be with you every step."

"He's right," Hailey reassures. "I will always have your back."

Jay looks at her for a moment, trying to figure out if she is lying. "Okay," Jay finally answers.

"I'm going to let you change. Do you want me to call Voight now?" Hailey asks.

"He's probably busy."

"Call now, and let him know he can come by when he has a chance," Will tells her. "Just have him text or call first in case they move Jay."

"Okay," Hailey answers while pulling out her phone.

Will turns his attention to Jay, "You need help with the IV," Will tells him.

"Can you just take it out?" Jay asks, not liking the needle in his arm.

Will looks at the almost empty IV bag, "Fine, but if you start to feel off, let me know," Will agrees.

Will takes out the IV and helps Jay change into the clothes that Hailey brought. "What are you thinking?" Will asks when Jay rests back against the pillow.

Jay sighs, "Dad would be mad. I can't do anything right- I'm a failure."

"Forget about dad. If you failing means I still have my brother, then I'm okay with that. Jay, you deserve to live your life."

* * *

Hailey walks out of Jay's ICU room and goes to an area where she can use her cell phone.

"Voight," she hears over the line when he picks up on the second ring.

"Voight, Jay is willing to talk to you about what's going on," Hailey tells him.

"Okay, when would be good for Jay?" Voight asks, not knowing if he was going to be taken for testing.

"Whenever works for you. Just let me know when you are here, they might move him to a different room."

"Okay, I'll check in soon."

* * *

"Hey," Hailey greets the two brothers as she walks back into Jay's room.

"What did he say?" Jay asks.

"That he'll check in soon. You look more comfortable," Hailey notes, seeing him relaxed now that he has on long sleeves to cover the scars on his arms.

"I'm sorry."

"For what?"

"I messed up your day- for both of you."

"No, you didn't. Our plans changed, but … ," Hailey pauses. "The important thing is that you are here."

Before anything else can be said, Ethan comes into his room, "Good news. It looks like the pills are out of your system," he tells Jay. "You got lucky, it doesn't look like they caused any damage, but we will keep an eye on that for a while and Will knows what to look for."

"So I can leave now?" Jay asks hopeful, but at the same time knowing the answer.

"No. We're going to transfer you to the psych ward for three days and then we can reassess what happens after."

"What is the visitor policy?" Hailey asks.

"It's locked and visitors have to be escorted to and from rooms."

"Okay," Hailey answers, placing a hand on Jay's arm.

Ethan leaves and two orderlies come in to bring Jay to his new room. Forcing Jay into the wheelchair, they make the short trip to the psych ward.

* * *

"Why were there two of them?" Hailey asks once Jay is settled.

"In case he fought," Will answers.

"What happens now?" Jay asks.

"You still need to be evaluated and then we will have a better idea of a long term plan."

"I'm not crazy."

"We don't think you are, but we don't want anything to happen to you. Seeing a therapist doesn't mean you're crazy."

Before Jay can replay, Voight is escorted in by a nurse.

"Halstead, Upton. What's going on?" he questions.

"Jay, do you want us to leave?" Will asks.

"No, I don't know some of the …" Jay trails off.

"It's okay, I know." Will and Hailey move across the room, trying to give Jay as much space as possible.

"What's going on Jay?" Voight asks, tone softer.

"I made a mistake an-and do I still have a job?" Jay asks.

"What? Why wouldn't you have a job?" Voight questions.

Jay remains quiet. Hailey sees her partner go quiet and decides to help him. She gets up and goes next to him. "Sarge," Hailey takes a breath. "Last night, I went to Jay's because I got a weird feeling. I found him unconscious on his bathroom floor- with empty pill bottles."

Voight takes only a second to process this, "You tried to kill yourself?" Jay remains silent giving him his answer.

"When I got him to Med, Ethan pumped his stomach and told Will and me that Jay has been participating in some self-harming behaviors."

"Jay?"

"I've been cutting myself since I got back from Afghanistan."

Hearing this shocks Voight, not expecting this from his detective. Sure, he knows that Jay has his fair share of demons, but his detective is one of the better-adjusted soldiers coming back from overseas.

"What happens now?" Voight asks.

"They have me on suicide watch, then I don't know."

"He's on suicide watch for three days. He will be evaluated during this time, hopefully sometime today, and a long term plan will be made," Will fills in the gaps.

"Jay, the team is your family too. Don't forget that. You can decide what you want to tell them when you want to tell them, but they will support you."

"Sarge, he's been worried about what this means work-wise," Hailey tells their sergeant wanting to alleviate one of her partner's worries.

"I don't know what the higher-ups will say, but this is my unit. You're a good cop, Jay. Just worry about getting yourself better right now. When the time comes we can work your way back: start you on desk duty and have a probationary period until you're back in a good headspace."

"Thanks, Sarge," Jay whispers.

"I'm going to let you get some rest before you have your evaluation," Voight pats his shin before going to the door.

Will volunteers to escort Voight out, since he is technically staff, leaving the two detectives.

* * *

"What do you think?" Voight asks the older Halstead brother.

"I think it will take time, but he will be okay. He just needs to know he's not alone."

The two me go their separate way, Will back inside the hospital to his baby brother and Voight back to the 21st district, hoping that his team doesn't question Jay and Hailey's absence. Voight wants Jay to have control in his life, but at the same time, his team are cops in an elite unit- not much will get past them.

* * *

**A/N: Sorry if Voight is OOC, he is not someone I am sure about writing. Again, let me know where you want this story to go. I am trying to work in the suggestions that you leave.**

**A/N #2 July 20, 2020: ****By posting the Deaf Jay Fic and the Prompt that I was given, I am going to put "Rock Bottom" on Hiatus. I will come back to finish it at some point, but I started this Fic not knowing where I was headed with it. This is still the case, where I don't know what direction it is going in. Mental Health is an important topic and I want this Fic to represent the importance and do it justice by not make light of that situation and/or people suffering from mental health challenges. I also don't really like what I have so I'm most likey going to be doing heavy editing to give it the justice that it deserves.**

**With that being said, Mental Health is especially important in times like this (Pandemic), even with social distancing check in on your friends especially those fighting mental health challenges via calling, text, video chat, e-mail.**


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